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Saturday, August 20, 2011

Report: Apocalypse Actually Happened 3 Years Ago

MENLO PARK, CA—Though the event went largely unremarked upon at the time, a report published Monday by the Kaiser Family Foundation has found that the apocalypse, or end of the world, occurred three years ago. "According to our data, the total collapse of all human civilization occurred on or around April 3, 2008," said foundation representative Jodie Palmenterri, citing numerous instances of environmental disaster, humanitarian catastrophe, and economic ruin as unambiguous signs that the world had ended. "Those who have worried for years that human culture was headed toward calamity can rest easy, because it already happened. We are living in a postapocalyptic world. This is it." Palmenterri went on to say that because the apocalypse does not resemble the eschatological predictions of any major religion, it's safe to assume the gods have all forsaken us.
- Onion News Network

Oooh, that must've hurt....

Check out the guy that got hooked right in his ass by that water buffalo.

Straight up White Trash, God bless 'em

I see the ex is still alive

An anonymous comment I got this morning:

You sound like a bitch - My name is Fuck You, track me like you do all the others you don't agree with you DHS wannabe
Somebody seriously needs a fucking life other than being a troll.

Wrong. So wrong.


 A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors; Bob, Bill and Debbie.

They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do.
After several years of casual sex, all the time, Debbie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing.
She felt having sex with both Bob and Bill was so immoral and bad that she killed herself.
It was tragic, but Bob and Bill managed to get through it. After a while, Bob and Bills' resistance to natures' urgings waned, and the inevitable happened.
Well, a couple more years went by and Bob and Bill began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.
So they buried Debbie.
- Stevienatt

Friday, August 19, 2011

Are you fucking stupid?

(Briefing Room) — New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg (I) said Friday that the “single biggest” thing President Obama can do right now to spur job creation in the United States is to allow more immigration.
“Most importantly, we want to get immigrants from around the world to come to America,” Bloomberg said in an interview with the “CBS Early Show.”
“That’s the single biggest thing that the president could do with Congress, is open up the borders to those that will create jobs here.”
He told CBS that immigrants “don’t take away jobs” but rather they create jobs for people already living in the United States.
- Weasel Zippers

Why start listening to us now?

(Newsmax) — Republicans are attacking President Barack Obama for acting like a “king that is above the law” in deciding to pick and choose which illegal aliens to deport.
“The Obama administration cannot get its amnesty schemes through Congress, so now it has resorted to implementing its plans via executive fiat,” said Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer.
“We need to remind President Obama that we elected a president that serves beneath the law and did not anoint a king that is above the law.”
Joining her criticisms were two other border-state Republicans, Reps. Michael McCaul and Lamar Smith of Texas.
“It’s just the latest attempt by this president to bypass the intended legislative process when he does not get his way,” McCaul said.
Smith said, “The Obama administration should enforce immigration laws, not look for ways to ignore them.”
And Florida Rep. Allen West jumped into the fray, too, calling for a House investigation into the guidelines. In an exclusive interview with Newsmax.TV, he accused Obama of “shredding the Constitution” with the new guidelines. “It is a form of amnesty and it does go against our Constitution and it very much concerns me because now we are rewarding people for an illegal activity,” he said.
“Think about the strain that is going to come on the types of services and things that we have to provide,” West added, saying aliens are getting a free pass.
- Weasel Zippers

Texas Fred's on a roll, folks

Gotta check this out from Texas Fred:
http://texasfred.net/archives/11674

Thursday, August 18, 2011

FUCK YOU OBAMA!!!!!

Pops' Gigi

Pops has always had a dog or two around, mostly hounds or labs, but for the past 10 years or so he's had this little fucking chihuahua that loves him to death.
I gotta admit she's a cool little dog but meaner than shit. Good thing she ain't bulldog sized.
Mom and Pops was on vacation for the past 2 weeks, visiting old Army friends in North Carolina and Pennsylvania and Gigi must have missed him. Mom just sent me this picture of her curled up in his suitcase.

Obama to deport illegals by ‘priority’

Bowing to pressure from immigrant rights activists, the Obama administration said Thursday that it will halt deportation proceedings on a case-by-case basis against illegal immigrants who meet certain criteria, such as attending school, having family in the military or having primary responsible for other family members’ care.
The move marks a major step for President Obama, who for months has said he does not have broad categorical authority to halt deportations and said he must follow the laws as Congress has written them.
But in letters to Congress on Thursday, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano said she does have discretion to focus on “priorities” and that her department and the Justice Department will review all ongoing cases to see who meets the new criteria.
“This case-by-case approach will enhance public safety,” she said. “Immigration judges will be able to more swiftly adjudicate high-priority cases, such as those involving convicted felons.”
The move won immediate praise from Hispanic activists and Democrats who had strenuously argued with the administration that it did have authority to take these actions, and said as long as Congress is deadlocked on the issue, it was up to Mr. Obama to act.
“Today’s announcement shows that this president is willing to put muscle behind his words and to use his power to intervene when the lives of good people are being ruined by bad laws,” said Rep. Luis V. Gutierrez, Illinois Democrat, who has taken a leadership role on the issue since the death of Sen. Edward M. Kennedy in 2009.
The new rules apply to those who have been apprehended and are in deportation proceedings, but have not been officially ordered out of the country by a judge.
Ms. Napolitano said a working group will try to come up with “guidance on how to provide for appropriate discretionary consideration” for “compelling cases” in instances where someone already has been ordered deported.
Administration officials made the announcement just before Mr. Obama left for a long vacation out of Washington, and as members of Congress are back in their home districts.
The top House Republican on the Judiciary Committee said the move is part of a White House plan “to grant backdoor amnesty to illegal immigrants.”
“The Obama administration should enforce immigration laws, not look for ways to ignore them,” said Rep. Lamar Smith, Texas Republican. “The Obama administration should not pick and choose which laws to enforce. Administration officials should remember the oath of office they took to uphold the Constitution and the laws of the land.”
Immigration legislation has been stalled in Congress for years as the two parties have sparred over what to include.
Republicans generally favor stricter enforcement and a temporary program that would allow workers in the country for some time, but eventually return to their home countries. Democrats want the legislation to include legalization of the estimated 11 million illegal immigrants now in the country, and want the future guest-worker program to also include a path to citizenship so those workers can stay permanently.
Since 2007, when the issue stalled in the Senate, more than 1 million illegal immigrants have been deported.
Democrats said those deportations are breaking up families and that it’s an unfair punishment for a broken system.
Hispanic voters are a key voter bloc as Mr. Obama seeks re-election next year, but many of them felt he broke his promise to them to work on legislation once he took office. Thursday’s move already was paying dividends as Hispanic advocacy groups praised the steps.
“After more than two years of struggle, demonstrations, direct actions and other activities, the administration has signaled that they are capable of delivering direct relief for immigrant families,” said Casa de Maryland, a pro-immigrant group. “We eagerly await confirmation from community members that their families can now expect to remain together.”
Two years ago, some staffers at U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services had prepared a draft memo arguing that the administration retained broad powers that could serve “as a non-legislative version of ‘amnesty.’ “
But agency leaders and others in the administration had argued that the memo was inaccurate.
It was unclear Thursday how many people might be affected by the new rules. Pressure groups said up to 300,000 people could be eligible. In fiscal year 2010 alone, the government deported nearly 200,000 illegal immigrants who it said did not have criminal records.
Given the case-by-case basis of Thursday’s announcement, though, the groups said the actual number of people allowed to stay could be far lower.
In June, U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement, the agency that handles interior immigration law enforcement, issued guidance expanding authority to decline to prosecute illegal immigrants. The goal, ICE leaders said, was to focus on catching illegal immigrants who have committed other crimes or are part of gangs.
The chief beneficiaries of the guidance are likely to be immigrant students who would have been eligible for legal status under the Dream Act, which stalled in Congress last year.
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, Nevada Democrat, who asked Homeland Security this year to exempt illegal-immigrant students from deportation, said the move will free up immigration courts to handle cases involving serious criminals.
- Washington Times

Potty stop returning from the Slut Convention

Wrong language, should be in mexican

Found this at Theospark awhile back.

Vacation time!


Paybacks are a bitch

Now this is just fucking weird

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

My work day

Shit was all fucked up.
(And every man and most women just grinned and nodded their heads as they read that. Y'all understood immediately what kind of a day it was.)

I won't go into detail about it - mainly because work is at work and my ass is at home in my Camouflage BassPro Easy Chair - but let me say this:
Had I been the boss today, I would've burned the fucking place down to the ground and retired to the nearest tavern.
It wasn't as long as I figured it to be, I only got an hour and a half of OT so that makes an 11 1/2 hour day with an hour drive each way.
And in a half an hour I get to go to bed so I can do it again tomorrow.

A momento of our vacation

Congratulations!

- Rob

Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....

A thief dubbed 'Britain's drunkest woman' has admitted that she stole bacon in order to fund her somewhat excessive habit of downing 28 pints a day.
31-year-old Dawn Marsden has received a six-month conditional discharge in Hartlepool Magistrates' Court after admitting to stealing 10 packs of bacon to help fund her boozy ways.
Jobless Marsden was so hammered when she showed up for sentencing that she had to ask reporters what her punishment was afterwards.
"You may have noticed my client has a drink problem," her solicitor told Hartlepool Magistrates’ Court.
http://www.joe.ie/joe-life/life-features/uk-thief-admits-stealing-bacon-to-fund-28-pint-a-day-lifestyle-0014953-1

- Steve

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Those long hands make her look freaky, huh?

Fuck mohammed

Yo Dawg, go call a white guy.

A man that enjoys his job


- http://www.theospark.net/

Something I had no desire to do when I was young enough but now wish I had. Airborne would've been fun......

Had Amy Winehouse lived to be 40.....

Meanwhile, in Islamabad......

I know the Brits are unfamiliar with firearms but....

CLEAN AND OIL THAT NASTY FUCKER!!!!!!

For Texas Fred

But neither Obama nor his administration are socialist...

(The Hill) — A leading House Democrat is hoping to use his prestigious seat on the deficit-cutting supercommittee to close the growing gully that divides the rich and the poor in America.
Rep. James Clyburn (S.C.) said the recent debate over slashing spending and reducing deficits has all but ignored the toll those cuts could exact on lower income folks, particularly in minority communities. Clyburn — the third-ranking House Democrat and a member of the Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) — is vowing to use his perch on the Joint Select Committee on Deficit Reduction to tackle the nation’s enormous wealth gap.
“In 1963, Dr. [Martin Luther] King [Jr.] expressed disbelief that the vault of opportunity in this great country was empty. Yet in 2011, the gap continues to grow wider between those who enjoy great wealth and those who struggle to get by with little thought of ever getting ahead,” Clyburn said in a statement reacting to his appointment on the deficit panel.